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14 Things You Should Never Do On Your Wedding Day
- Jul 6
- 10 min read
Table of Contents
From a photographer who has been there for hundreds of them
I have photographed hundreds of weddings and elopements, from Copenhagen City Hall to quiet cliffs in the middle of nowhere, and I have seen almost everything that can go right and almost everything that can go wrong. Some of it makes for a beautiful story to tell later. Some of it is a lesson learned the hard way, by a couple who just wanted their day to be perfect.
So I put together this list. Not to scare you, but because I care about how your day actually feels, not just how it looks in photos. These are the small decisions that quietly shape everything else, the ones nobody warns you about until it's too late to change them.
Some of these might surprise you. A few of them come straight from real weddings I have been part of. All of them come from years of standing behind the camera, watching what makes a wedding day feel joyful and easy, and what makes it feel like a battle to get through.
Take what's useful, skip what doesn't apply to you, and let's get into it.
Everything in this post comes from real weddings and elopements I've photographed myself. These are my honest thoughts and the lessons I've picked up along the way, not advice pulled from somewhere else.
1. Not having a simple budget in mind
Having a clear budget doesn't mean you need to spend a fortune. It just means knowing roughly what you're comfortable spending before you start booking things. It keeps you organized, and it keeps you from making decisions out of panic two months before the wedding.
2. Booking a ten-hour wedding and only two hours of photography
Seriously, you have to capture the moments, because I promise you, the photos are the only thing you will have left from that day.
I have had clients who booked me for just two hours. They never said a word to me afterward, but I have always felt they regretted it.
On the other hand, I have had clients who weren't sure if they should book ten hours and ended up choosing six. Later they wrote me an email that said something like: "Oh my god, the images are amazing. We wish we had kept you longer for the wedding day. Such a big mistake not to."
I really respect people who can admit that. It means they will do better next time. I just hope they don't have to test that theory with a vow renewal. But if they do, at least they'll know what to book.
So please, don't make this mistake. You will regret it more than you think.
3. Not choosing quality over quantity
If you're going to have a wedding, be specific about what you want, and don't go for the cheapest option just to save money. Not cheap food, not a cheap venue, not cheap flowers, and definitely not a cheap photographer.
My honest advice: do it properly, or don't do it at all. How you treat this day says a lot about how you treat yourself and the people around you. Quality matters more than quantity.
I have photographed hundreds of weddings, and I can always tell who tried to cut corners to save a little money. I have also seen the regret that comes with it. Pay for quality. It's worth it.
4. Inviting people you don't actually want there
Don't invite people you don't feel comfortable around, just because they're family. I have said this a hundred times, a thousand times, and I will never get tired of saying it.
I have photographed weddings where the couple invited one entire side of a family and left out the other, because that side had cut them out of their lives long before. And honestly, without even needing to know the full story, I always think that's the right call. If someone makes you uncomfortable, you will feel that discomfort on your wedding day. It doesn't matter if it's family, an old friend you've drifted from, or someone your parents insist you invite to "keep the peace."
Invite the people who love you and who have shown up for you. That's it. I understand there are grey areas, maybe you can't invite your mom without also inviting your sister, and that's a small, reasonable compromise. But beyond that, you really don't owe anyone a seat at your wedding just to avoid an awkward conversation.
5. Skipping a professional makeup and hair stylist
I have to say this one. I have heard it so many times, from couples, from their families, from friends: people don't always give this the priority it deserves. If you are not a professional makeup and hair stylist yourself, please don't try to do it on your own. And if someone suggests that your niece, your best friend, or your sister should do your hair and makeup instead, please don't let them.
Here's why.
First, you are handing someone a huge responsibility that was never theirs to carry. It is not their job to do your hair and makeup on your wedding day. They should be free to help you with other things, running errands, helping with planning, being there for you emotionally. Hair and makeup is a serious skill, and it is a serious responsibility to place on someone who hasn't trained for it.
Second, you can't fully trust how you'll end up looking. If your appearance simply isn't a priority for you, that's completely fine. But this is a day where I think it's worth feeling special, a little different from how you feel on an ordinary day.
Third, if something goes wrong, there is no fixing it in time. And that's an awful feeling to carry through your entire wedding day, especially after everything else you've planned and paid for.
Hiring a professional makeup artist and hairstylist really is one of the most important decisions you'll make. And I can tell you from experience, photos always turn out more beautiful when you look fresh and at ease, rather than like you spent your morning stressed out trying to do it yourself. When someone experienced takes care of you, it shows in every photo.
I would also recommend doing a trial run beforehand. Go meet the makeup artist ahead of time, see what you like, adjust anything you want to change. It gives you a much clearer idea of what you want on the actual day. But if you already fully trust your makeup artist, feel free to skip that step.
6. Wearing only your heavy ceremony dress all day
If your dress is beautiful but heavy and hard to move in, that's perfect for the ceremony. But I highly recommend having a second, more comfortable outfit to change into afterward, something that lets you actually enjoy your day, dance, walk around, and feel free.
Every bride I've worked with who did this for longer wedding days loved it. Meanwhile, I've also seen brides get attached to their dress for some reason and refuse to change, only to admit afterward that it would have been so much easier if they had.
7. Not having one or two people you trust to run the day
This one is a must. You need at least one, ideally two people who know the plan and can manage it on your behalf.
Think about it: at some point during the day, you need fifty or a hundred guests gathered in one place for group photos, and you want that done quickly. You, the bride or groom, should never be the one running around shouting for people to come together. You should not be the one yelling "family photos now, then friends, come on, hurry."
You need someone who works with your photographer directly, so you don't have to stress or scream on your own wedding day.
I have seen brides and grooms literally run around gathering guests themselves, and I could see how stressed they were. They were not enjoying their own day. It was stressful for them, and honestly, it was stressful for me too as their photographer.
Write everything down. The timeline, the moments you want captured, the toasts, the first dance. Share that plan with your venue, your photographer, and your two trusted people. It makes an enormous difference. Skip this step, and your day will not go the way you imagined.
8. Overloading the day with sentimental moments
A few sentimental touches during your wedding day are beautiful. Two or three is the sweet spot, things like a first look with your dad, a letter exchange with your partner before the ceremony, or a quiet moment with your mom while getting ready. Those little pauses are the ones that end up meaning the most, and they photograph beautifully too.
But when couples try to fit in five, six, seven of these moments, it starts to feel heavy instead of special. Every sentimental moment takes time, and it takes emotional energy too. By the time you get to the ceremony, you're drained instead of glowing. It can also be a lot for your guests to sit through, moment after moment after moment, especially if there's a lot of waiting in between.
Pick your two or three. Make them count. Let the rest of the day breathe.
9. Letting phones take over the moment
If you're hiring a professional photographer, let your guests know ahead of time. They can absolutely still take photos on their own phones, but a small heads up goes a long way toward protecting the moments you're paying to have captured.
Here's some wording you can copy and paste straight onto your wedding website:
There will be a professional photographer with us throughout the day, capturing all the moments. Feel free to take photos on your own phones too, of course. But we'd love for you to be as present as possible, so we'd really appreciate it if you kept your phone away as much as you can. If you'd like to share your photos with us afterward, [add your details here, like a shared album link or hashtag].
And if you're having a photo booth or Polaroids for guests to use, just add a line letting them know that's there too. It gives people a fun outlet for their own photo taking, without twenty phones going up during your ceremony.
10. Not eating or drinking water all day
This one might sound small, but it's honestly as important as number two. You're nervous, you're busy, you're being pulled in ten directions, and it's so easy to forget to eat or drink anything for hours. Then it catches up with you, usually right when you need your energy the most.
Water especially. Please, just drink the water. Have someone keep a bottle near you all day. You will thank me later.
11. Overpacking the timeline with no buffer time
It's tempting to try to fit everything you pictured into your ten hours. But a schedule packed minute to minute with no breathing room usually backfires. One thing runs a little late, and suddenly everything after it is rushed too.
Build in buffer time between the big moments. Getting ready, the ceremony, portraits, the reception, all of it needs a little cushion in between. Your day doesn't need to check every box you had in your head to be perfect. If there's something you really want, a specific shot, a specific moment, build the time for it properly rather than squeezing it in. People need room to breathe, to actually enjoy the day, and to relax instead of being herded from one thing to the next.
12. Micromanaging your photographer instead of trusting them
I understand the instinct, but try to resist directing every single pose or moment yourself. A professional photographer will guide you when guidance is actually needed, and step back when it's not. That's the whole point of hiring someone experienced.
Trust the process. The most natural, honest photos almost always come from couples who let the day unfold instead of couples trying to control every frame.
13. Having no backup plan for weather
Living in Copenhagen and photographing weddings and elopements here, I have seen it all. If you don't have a backup plan for the weather, you are not safe. You truly never know how unpredictable the weather can be, and it isn't just about rain. Wind can be just as disruptive to an outdoor ceremony or your portraits.
Always have a backup plan. A tent, an indoor space, a plan B location, anything that means the weather can't take your day away from you.
14. Forgetting to feed your photographer
This one might sound small, but trust me, it's mega important. Your photographer is on their feet all day, carrying gear, chasing light, running around capturing every moment of your wedding. A good one will give you everything they have. But they can't run on nothing all day.
After hundreds of weddings, I have seen this go wrong more times than I can count. I have had venues forget to put food on the table for me entirely. I once had a waiter tell me that the guests needed to finish eating first, and only then could the vendors have the leftovers. That was never in my contract, and even though the couple had told the venue many times to make sure I ate, somehow the message never landed.
I did not feel comfortable eating from the buffet alongside guests. To me, that crosses a line into unprofessional, so I simply would not do it. Instead, I quietly asked the waitstaff for food several times as I got hungrier and thirstier, and it was not a good feeling.
What actually got to me was how sweet the couple were about it. During a portrait session later that evening, the groom stopped and asked me if I had eaten anything. It was such a thoughtful thing to ask, especially in the middle of their own wedding day. I told him I was fine. I had eaten a very small amount by then, not nearly enough, but I never brought it up again, not that day and not afterward.
That experience is exactly why I now make sure this is written clearly into my contract. I understand every venue runs differently, and some waitstaff are used to going six or eight hours before their own meal. But a wedding photographer needs steady focus for ten hours straight, and that is simply not possible running on empty.
So please, talk to your venue directly. Make sure it is clear that your photographer should not be left waiting until after the wedding is over to eat. If it is written into your photographer's contract that they should be fed properly and on time, then make sure that actually happens. Couples who think of this detail are always the sweetest to work with, and it makes a real difference.
If you're looking for a top-rated wedding and elopement photographer who will help you avoid every mistake on this list, get in touch here. I'd love to hear about your day.